When it's time to go home...

So yesterday the news broke that comedian Bernie Mac passed away-- complications of pneumonia and sarcardosis is my assumption. It's interesting because my aunt Barbara passed away from complications of sarcodosis and my mother passed away from pneumonia. I remember thinking that in 1990 no one should still be dying from pneumonia. I considered it something that could be successfully treated if caught early enough. I've often lamented about how weird and unfair it seemed that my mother died from pneumonia. When asked what was the cause of my mother's death everyone seems to look at me incredulously-- even my internist. Why...? Very simple, people are not supposed to contract pneumonia and die in the span of a few days.

Well this news of Bernie Mac while sad and unfortunate gave me some measure of comfort. It seems that his sarcodosis was in remission and that he was only dealing with pneumonia. He spent a few weeks in Northwestern Hospital-- one of the top hospitals in Chicago. While discussing his sudden death at the hair salon yesterday, one lady said, "Northwestern couldn't even save him?" That's when it came to me....not even Northwestern could save him. What that said to me is that I didn't have to feel so bad about my mom dying from pneumonia. I didn't have to keep thinking what if?? What if she had been at a better hospital? What if she had not been a heavy smoker? What if I'd been home when she got sick.

The situation with Bernie Mac made me realize that it did not matter. Surely Bernie had access to the best doctors and the best hospitals yet they could not "save" him. They could not stop what had already been pre-destined by God. As much as it hurts, it was just his time to go home; at the young age of 50. And now I can stop feeling so guilty about my mom. It was just her time to go home; even at the young age of 40. It was simply just her time to go home. I guess now I can accept that. THE END.