Big Girls Don't Cry

Today I saw an acquaintance that I had not seen in a couple of years. We're sitting catching up (or rather she is rapidly firing questions off at me about my life) and she says, "how did you gain so much weight?" That's right.....she asked me how did I gain "so much" weight!!!! I don't even remember how I responded. I have zero recollection of what happened next. I remember seeing her mouth continue to move but I could not tell you what she said or what else she said to me. I proceeded to dissect and analyze what this wench had just said to me.

Now of course I am acutely aware that I have gained weight in the past couple of years. In fact I can tell you exactly when the weight gain spurts began. During childhood, and early twenties I'd been a stable weight. Fluctuating slightly but nothing too noticeable. After all, I was the ballerina, tap dancer, cheerleader, even an aerobic instructor for God's sake! I'd never had a weight problem before.

Funny thing about turning 31, I swear the day after I turned 31 I instantly went up one dress/pants/jeans size. I was officially in the "double digits." No more 6's and 8's. I stayed that way for a few years and then BAMMMM.... I turned 35 and gained another few pounds. Then most recently I've gained about 10-15 lbs in the past 2 years. Going up yet another dress/pants/ jeans size.

I have been struggling with admitting to myself that I needed to seriously do something about the weight I'm gaining. I've improved my eating habits tremendously but there are certain vices that are hard to kick. The chocolate just seems to keep calling me.

I realize that I need to fully commit to an exercise regimen and I'm certain I will reverse the weight gain. My 20 year high school reunion is next year so I HAVE to get the weight off. (At the 10 yr reunion I was smaller than in high school). I'm working on it and I know that I'll get it together but here is my issue on today's blog.......

Where do people get off telling you about your shortcomings? Who the hell is she to insinuate that I'm fat or "big?" Mind you-- in the same amount of time sistergirl has had a love affair with a few chocolate chip cookies herself!

But seriously, why do people feel the need to either state the obvious or remind you of some flaw that you may have? This weight thing must big a big deal because I have had more people comment on it than anything else about me!

My father, Mr. Joe, will not let an opportunity go by without saying, "girl you have picked up some weight!!" I usually ignore his comments but I'd like nothing more to say, "And you are a jack@ss!!"

My great-aunt saw me last weekend and said, "you're right Joe., she has picked up weight since I last saw her." And again I wanted to say, "look old lady you have a thousand more wrinkles and significantly less sand in the sand glass since I last saw you!"

But the rude comments are not just limited to my weight. People like to say all kinds of things to me to either passively aggressively attack or knock me down a peg....

Remember that time you flipped the table over on your ex boyfriend at that party? How long did you have braces? You don't eat nothing (which is clearly not true or else I would not have the increased weight, now would I?). You're bougie. Employees think you're mean. So and so don't like you. When are you and Scott going to live together, get married? You're gonna be a step-mom? What's wrong with you that you ain't got no kids? You know your biological clock is ticking. Why did you buy that car? Are those scratches on the trunk? You live on the south side? You went to the party school?

WTF!!!!

Where do people get off asserting their opinions and ideas of you on to you? I once told someone that their opinion of me was none of my business. I meant that! Although I'd had a long standing "reputation" of being somewhat aloof, anti social or down right bitchy, people still feel like they can just say anything to me.

There was a time when I would have said something quite cutting in response to these snyde comments but now I'm just cool about it. If only everyone could momentarily place themselves in the others shoes. What if I had told Mr. Joe he's a jack@ss? Or his aunt an old bitty? Or tell ol girl she has gained much more weight than me and by the way you live in a ghetto suburb? Your kid is not as cute as you think? Your breath is humming a bad tune? What if I said these things??? Exactly, then I become the bad buy!

My pastor delivered a great sermon a few years ago in which he asked us to consider 3 things before we commented about someone (whether to them or gossiping about them):
1) Is it nice?
2) Is it true?
3) Is it necessary?

If the comment did not meet all 3 criteria we were advised to keep it to ourselves. I try to be mindful of that. Surely we all know what our flaws are. I don't need anyone to remind of anything. I know me better than anyone.

But like the title of this blog suggests, I'm a Big Girl (and not the Monique, Jill Scott, Queen Latifah kind of big either!). Big girls do not cry.......we get revenge.

Like that prolifc urban poet, Kanye West said, "now that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger...." Sistergirl just don't know that her comment to me today about my weight was fuel to my fire. I will continue to have alot of other things wrong with me, but weight will not be one of them. Watch me fix this.....
THE END!!