Yes I Know Jesus For Myself....

Yes, I know Jesus
Yes, I know Jesus
Yes, I know Jesus, for myself
Woke me up this morning,
Saw a brand new dawning,
Feeds me when I'm hungry,
Comforts me when I lonely,
Yes, I know Jesus for myself

Last summer I briefly dated a guy who did not believe in God or Jesus (or anything else that would be responsible for him being alive). He did not believe in anything greater than himself. Hence the reason why we only dated briefly. Me trying not to be flaky decided to give it a chance. Thought maybe I'd been placed in his life to help him find Jesus! What happened instead was that I became increasingly intolerant of him and we quickly ended the would be dating after a few weeks.

How can a person not believe in God? Especially if you are Black? How could we come through 400 years of slavery, 150 years after slavery ended getting ready to have a Black president and not believe in God? It is truly amazing to me. God has been ever present in the lives of Black people. But not only that....I know Him for myself.

"Yes I know Him for myself, and he'll do just what he said." I can never for a minute think that God or Jesus is not real. He has been evident in my life from the very beginning. I did not grow up "in church" but it has been all around me while growing up. I joined a church and became a "baptized believer" in July 1996. I was 25 years old. By some standards I was a late bloomer and should have been baptized as a child. However, I think I had a greater appreciation for the entire experience as an adult. I truly chose God. I chose to believe in Jesus; so much so I was baptized as an outward sign of this belief. Yes I know Jesus for myself.

When I was 10 yrs old I fell down an elevator shaft and lived to blog about it. I did not tell anyone, not anyone in my family knows that I fell down the shaft and just so happened to fall to the next floor of the apt bldg instead of down the entire shaft to my death.

When I was 13 my apartment bldg caught fire and I remember climbing down the ladder ever so carefully in the dead of winter with my pj's on. To this day the smell of wood burning makes me nauseous. When I was graduating from grade school I was not immediately accepted into my high school of choice. Later that summer, after I registered elsewhere I got the acceptance letter. Graduating from high school the same thing happened. Later that summer my school of choice called me to register.

Freshman year of college my mom died. I was an only child who had to immediately grow up. I attended college 4 years on full financial aid grants. Was declared "independent" and did not have to take out any student loans. Yes, I know Jesus for myself.

My favorite uncle and my source of financial support died 4 years after my mother. Just after I left college. I got on my own apartment and never looked back. I have always been able to take care of myself. No matter how much or how little money I may have had along the way. I had a car throughout college that was fully paid for.

At 29 I was convinced that I had breast cancer. Doctors performed mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies. It was nothing.

I wore braces for a whole lot longer than I should have. When they finally came off, my teeth were perfect. I should not have had a tooth left in my mouth. Yes, I know Jesus for myself.

I've been severed from a job, I've quit another job without a place to go, I've been in situations when I did not know how I'd pay my rent. But I never, ever went without. I re-connected with my father shortly after I joined church and now I have a paternal family that I'm getting to know.

I have had more exboyfriends than any woman should ever claim. Relationships that fell apart for one reason or another. Some situations I had absolutely no business being involved in. A couple of situations that had the potential to be dangerous.

Despite all the hurts, the trials, the challenges I have faced. I constantly remind myself that it could have been so much worse. I thank Him for covering me and keeping me, in spite of me. Despite what others may think of me, I am certain of who I am. And whose I am. I am humbled at the thought of the awesome nature of God. If it were not for Him I would have been dead or mentally insane many years ago.

Yes, I know Jesus for myself.....and he'll do just what he said.