How did you get that husband? Those kids? That house? You seem so happy. How did you get him to propose to you? SistaGirl, what is your secret?
I've tried to be honest, I've tried to be flexible, I've tried to compromise, I've tried to learn from past failed relationships. It's not looking good for me. I'm not going to have a man!
How did you do it? Did you cook? Were you attentive? Did you become best friends with his mom? Did you buy a gift for his kids? Did you pretend to be the perfect girlfriend while courting then flip the script after the wedding? Oh, you didn't flip the script, you're still perfect?
Well then did you settle? Is he exactly what you wanted? Is he what you needed? Is it truly all it's cracked up to be? Did you plan the kids? Do you really like his sister? Did you keep your pre-marriage figure? Are you sticking your finger down your throat when he's not around?
I'm not hatin'. Not at all. I simply need to know your secret. What am I missing? What am I not doing? Could it be that I'm simply not the relationship or marrying type? Have I waited too long in my 37 years to be able to coexist with any man in harmony?
Did you hear me? Honeychild, what is your secret? Is it your bedroom tricks? Do you hang out with him and his friends at the expense of yours? Did you attend his family functions and excuse him from attending yours? Do you get the slippers when he comes home? Do you let the let the petty things roll off your back?
The overwhelming majority of my friends are married. I ask myself all the time what is it that's different about me? Why do I attract or hook up with men who ultimately cannot or will not commit?
Yeah I've heard it all. He's insecure. He is intimated. He is self sabotaging the relationship. He's immature. His mom babied him. All of his ex's don't hold a candle to you. He is not as smart as you. Blah, blah, blah. I don't discount any of those hypotheses but seriously.... why can't I keep a man?!!
No, I don't need a man to be fulfilled but who among us wants to experience life without a partnership and companionship? Women who say they don't want that are lying. I don't have time to lie to you or myself. I want a man, dammit!
You, Mrs. I'm happily married ever after, had better tell me your secret!!
Hello
11 years ago
2 comments:
What can I say. It's a compilation of things. I am married and have been married for 5 years. My husband and I have a 3 year old child together and he has 2 kids from a previous marriage. It was hard. I dated and kissed lots of frogs before finding my "Prince Charming" and just me there are still flaws. I believe you just have to wait on who God has for your. Not someone elses man (i.e Your Leo), not change who you are, not suck up to his family and friends (that does not last anyone because eventually they'll start to get on your last nerve) but know that God will send you someone just for you. Someone who will balance you and you him. And it's usually when you least expect it.
Well...
As a Muslim it is very easy to get married because we don't date. I've been married 10 years come Januar, with 4 kids and I am still basically the same person you have always known (personality).
Tryu the dating thing. Next time you meet a guy tell them sorry but if they want to see you they must 'court' you. Make them go to your father and ask his permission to taske you to a movie and out to dinner. Bring your father with you on the date! or double date and when he drops you off, giiggle and say you had a nice time and put your head down and scurry nerviously in the house...rofl
Play hard to get. Be hard to get. No more free samples. Why would a guy HAVE to marry you if you are already playing wifey?
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