My boss is constantly telling me to be the "bigger person." I want to know when is it okay to be the smaller person? Why do I have the responsibility of being the mature, rational, adult in the conflict? Who's telling the other person to be the bigger person? And if someone is telling them to be the bigger person then isn't it okay for me to be the smaller person? Afterall, we both can't be the bigger person. Someone has to be bigger than the other.
Don't you sometimes feel that everyone always expects YOU to do the right thing but it's okay for everyone else to be a jackass? How is it that someone else's poor behavior can be dismissed or over looked but YOU have the responsibility of doing what's right?
It happens to me all the time at work. I work with a very interesting mix of personalities. I interact with finance people, artistic people, emotional people, strong personalities, sarcastic people, racist, sexist, elitist people and dare I say illusions of grandeur people, The whole gamut. How can anyone expect me to always be the "bigger" person?
Shouldn't there be times when it's okay to check the pompass and self absorbed executive? Why can't I tell him it is not okay for him to tell me a decision I made was stupid? Stupid? Isn't that kind of extreme or harsh? Why is it stupid? Is it stupid because you think I'm unintelligent? Because it came from a woman? From a Black woman? From a Black woman under the age of 40? From a black woman under the age of 40 who is not intimidated by white men? Seriously, why does it have to be stupid?
Would it be stupid if it came from someone his own age? His own color? His own kind? From a peer? From his boss? From his wife? From his parents? Seriously, why does it have to be stupid?
Can you tell this is utterly pissed me off?
Or what about the co-worker (who is a peer) insists on critiquing all my writings and giving me unsolicited and sometimes un-merited edits? Why can't I tell her that if I wanted her opinion I'd ask for it? I don't step on anyone's toes, why is it okay for everyone to have a say in MY shit? Seriously???
Or when there is a get together for someone I don't like (for good reasons of curse) why am I expected to participate any way? Why isn't it okay for me to say, "I'd rather pluck each eyelash out of my face instead of having a drink with you?" What's up with that?
Will someone please tell me when it's okay for me to be the smaller person???
Hello
11 years ago
1 comment:
I generally err on the side of being the bigger person but at times I must tell you that I think that it is often times quite overated. Unfortunately being who I am I often am the bigger person by default. I cannot tell you how many times I would have loved to tell someone where to go and exactly how to get there but whent ahead and took the high road. What trips me out is sometimes when I choose to take the path of least resistance I am often viewed as passive aggressive. When I decide to take a stand I am viewed as being intimidating or cocky. Which one do they want?
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