What I Would Tell My 20 yr Old Self...

Now that I have had some life experience, I often think about how different I am than at age 20.
At the age of 20 my life was in a chaotic mess. But interestingly I did not realize it then. I tried very hard to return to what I thought was a "normal" life after my mom passed away. I so desperately did now want to be the person that people felt sorry for so I tried to act non-chalant, unfazed and "normal."

Now, 17 years later I reflect on my younger self and think, "if only I'd known how my life would evolve."

Here is what I would tell me 20 yr old self:

• You are too young and too emotionally fragile to be in a serious relationship. Stop holding on to him so tightly.
• You do not have to worry about being homeless. You will be able to take care of yourself just fine.
• You will find it within yourself to develop a relationship with your father. It's okay to be mad now but know that you will not always feel this way.
• Thank the Lord that you are in college on a completely free ride.
• Do not sleep with anyone that you do not love.
• You will fall out of touch with your college friends but you will find each other again.
• Believe it, you will not remain a size 6 for the rest of your life.
• You will find the right career and travel all over the world.
• Kim will have 2 kids who will stalk you all the time for sleep overs.
• You will be friends with Nsenga again.
• You will make more friends in your 20's and 30's.
• You will still be single at 37.
• You will be baptized by Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr.
• A Black man from Chicago will become the first Black President of the U.S.
• You will start eating lobster.
• You will look back at age 37 and realize that although you have experienced a lot in 17 years, you are whole, you are sane, you are well, you are anointed, covered and cared for by God.

Thank You God! AMEN

Paper Thin

....I put feelings inside, I know who I am.

My name is Lyte, is your name Sam?

Cuz if it is step off

Grab your coat and get lost

wrap scarf around your throat

Go back and catch a boat

Hit the road Sam.

And don't you come back

no more, no more, no more, no more

Hit the road Sam

and don't you come back no more.

I am now old enough and hip hop is now old enough where I can be one of those people who says, "music just aint what it used to be." Remember how our parents' generation would hear us playing New Edition, Run DMC, Boogie Down Productions, M.C. Lyte and all the rest-- they'd say, "you young people call that music? That aint music. Temptations, Chi Lytes, Earth, Wind & Fire....now that's music."

My generation (Gen X) certainly has an appreciation for the Motown sound and the 60's & 7o's era. Anyone of us and complete the popular tune by the Temptations that goes,

"each day through my window I watch her as she passes by. I say to myself, I'm such a lucky guy. To have a girl like her, is truly a dream come true. Out of all of the fellas in the world, she belong to you. But it was just.........."

We can appreciate the music of the earlier generation. But what's up with the Gen Y's music?? Souljah Boy --and the dance that goes with it. Lil Wayne (although I admit his stfuf is catchy).

What about these toy R&B guys? The Dream? T Pain, Trey Songz.... Seriously? "I'm in love with a stripper? Superman that hoe? Lick me like a lollipop?"

What happened? When did we become so raunchy, lewd, disrespectful and over-sexed? Does anybody sing about love or rap about the black movement anymore?

Is my generation responsible for this? After all we did create N.W.A. and Eazy E. That was the jump off. But even Ice Cube and Dr. Dre grew out of that. Did we plant the seeds for this outrageous behavior?

Exactly how did we get here?